I have been thinking about writing this post from the moment my labour started. I have also written this post many times in my head as I lay down to sleep. I have come up with great ways to say things, even being funny at times. Right now at this moment I don't remember any of those witty things. One thing that did stick with me from those late night writings in my mind was to warn readers that this story may not be something everyone is interested in or would like to read. This recording is for me so that I don't forget. I also want to record the details of Saylor's birth as a way to mentally and emotionally heal from the process. The details are already starting to fade as Saylor will be 4 weeks old in a couple days. Maybe the details aren't as important as the final results that being Saylor and I healthy and happy.
My original due date was May 8th 2010 and as the date approached I wasn't showing any signs of labour starting. Next thing I knew I was 10 days past my due date and it was time to make decisions. I was induced at 7am on May 18th(I'm going to skip some details here)I then spent the next two hours at the hospital being monitored and then I was sent home to wait. At noon we returned to the hospital so that I could be monitored and checked. I had been having contractions but my body was not progressing. Again I was sent home and my midwife came to check on me some time later. Around 2pm it was time to head to the hospital and get settled in there. At this time I was already in a great deal of pain but I was still refusing any medication for pain management.
I should include as part of my story that Pete and I had attended prenatal classes called Birthing From Within. I was confident that with the coping techniques I learned in these classes that I could have my baby naturally with out medical intervention. It is a very good thing that Birthing from Within covers all the possibilities. Due to what I learned from the classes I was able to cope but in a different way then what we had hoped for.
When we arrived at the hospital I continued to labour. My midwife suggested that I may want to soak in a warm bath I agreed. I spent the next several hours laying in that large comfortable tub. Around 8:30pm I was again offered pain medication this time I agreed to it. Now it was time for an IV to be started and further measures to be taken to help my labour. I was given 3 doses of fentanol after those 3 does I was offered and epidural and I agreed to it. Some time around 3 am the on call obsetrican who had already been involved in my care said it was time for a c-section or cesarean birth. Pete had known for some time this was coming I wasn't aware of this yet. This was a very difficult moment for both of us. All of the interventions that I had received thus far and now a c-section were not part of the plan we had discussed and dreamed about. In fact it was as far from our hopefully plan as things could get. It was time to consider my health and the babies. So c-section it was. Things moved along very quickly here. There is much of this story that I don't clearly remember due to the pain and medication. Saylor was eventually born at 3:40am on May 19th 2010. Pete, cut the cord and was the first one to hold him. My mom who had arrived at the hospital before 9pm was the second person to hold Saylor with in 40 minutes of his birth.
I have often said that I have never had this many drugs in my entire life. Never before had I had surgery either. Recovering from this abdominal surgery has been an experience on it's own. For the first two weeks I could hardly pick up Saylor or dress myself. Pete has been amazing through this process. He has had to care for both Saylor and I plus do the necessary cooking and cleaning. Pete was also very involved in supporting and understanding the intricacies of breast feeding. I am very proud that he is my husband and Saylor's father. Without Pete the wheels would have fallen off this buggy for sure.
Through out my pregnancy it was my strongest desire to labour and deliver my baby without medical intervention. I had chosen to have my prenatal care through a midwife, to labour at home for as long as possible then to move to the hospital deliver the baby just in case medical intervention was needed. Having to change my hopes, wishes and dreams for my delivery was very difficult. The skills learned during Birthing from Within allowed Pete and I to process the necessity of having a c-section, come to gripes with it and move forward. Pete said to the doctor that we don't want to do the
c-section but we will because it is the best thing to do in this situation.
Having written this post a few days ago and now re-reading it I think I have included what was important. Today Saylor is a month old. The time has truly whized by on some days and then there are the moments that seem to be drawn out and really last. I hope I remember both the fast and slow memories. I think it is also time to begin Sayor's baby book to record those moments so little is forgotten. I focus on each moment and that is how tomorrow arrives.